Depression Mode :|

I always wondered how other people do it? How did my classmate knew what to do and how to do it? Four years has almost passed and I am still sitting at home with zero accomplishments. For one second I thought I had everything figured out.I literally had everything sketched out in a little aqua book I bought at Target the year I started my freshmen year in High school.  It’s funny how all my hopes, faith and dream went down to the drainage in an instant. It scares me so damn much because I feel I am running out of time and not living a bit. Every day and every night I sit down, inhale and exhale and tear down of how I am so disappointed at myself. The job of my dream is no longer an option for me, the dream I once had is no longer a dream but a nightmare.  I have lost myself and I can’t figure out which path to take anymore. Writing helps a bit I won’t lie, before I use to write and write and write with passion , with desire, with happiness between lines, with faith and hope and I knew someone would read and be happy with my stories , and my tales. But now writing hurts, because at the end of the day they are simply words and the worst part is that these words aren’t filled with dead hope/faith and lots off misery.:'(


2 thoughts on “Depression Mode :|

  1. Is there another way you could engage in something that inspires you…like looking for a job related to one of your dreams even if it’s not the main dream you’ve wanted?

    • yes, i am insearch of a job, every day I am out and about asking if they are hiring. But my condition makes it hard for me to get a job At the moment. Its not really that no one will help or I don’t want to work but the condition am in right now is not helping me. They say everything happens for a reason. And i am still wondering what is his reason for me.

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